How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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