She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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