fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
