my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
only if we run a train.
done.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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