I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
