she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Can Purell be used as lube?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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