Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
