so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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