I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
two words...techno handjob
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
