Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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