(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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