Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
