I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize