that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
