but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
