i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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