what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
