We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
