I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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