There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
