Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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