Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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