that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
