You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
