I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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