he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
