so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
