The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
