Umm I'm too high to move.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
