it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize