Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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