He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
