So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize