i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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