There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize