dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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