Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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