You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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