I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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