the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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