I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
