i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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