That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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