I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Rumble strips road head = magical
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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