I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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