i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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