The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize