Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
