How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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