The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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