saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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