Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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