So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
