when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
