No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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