she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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