Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You ruined the universe
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
