just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
