i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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