Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
