a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
