Are we in a gay sports bar?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He did a backflip because drugs
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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