"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
